Thank You To My Spouse

I don't know where I would be since my lupus diagnosis, without my husband. We met a few months before I got my diagnosis, so we had a brief period of normalcy. Two regular healthy adults navigating a new relationship. We would go to the movies, try out new restaurants and go on weekend getaways. I literally felt like I was on cloud nine.

Until the symptoms began. The joint pain was the first thing I experienced and I even hid it from him and everyone that was close to me. I thought it was just part of getting older and it would just go away. But it eventually got worse to the point where I couldn't hide it anymore.

What was wrong with me?

At the time we both didn't know what was going on. He just tried his best to help me in any way he could. He would give me massages, cook dinner and pick me up from work.

I went to so many doctor appointments trying to figure out what was going on with me that he and my parents had to take turns as to who would come with me.

When I finally got my lupus diagnosis he was by my side holding my hands as I cried hysterically. I couldn't believe it and I felt like my whole life was falling apart. But, he held a brave face and said everything is going to be alright.

Would he leave because of lupus?

We were only dating for a few months, so at that point I wondered if this was all going to be too much for him. He didn’t sign up for a sick partner.

Was he going to leave me because of my illness? Find a partner who didn’t have any health issues? Was I going to be a burden down the road? What was our future going to be like?

I had all these thoughts running in my head. Even some of my family members and friends wondered if he was going to stay.

In sickness and in health

But he loved me unconditionally and 4 years later we got married. For better or worse, for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health, he was my rock. Having a supportive partner is truly a blessing and a life hack that people don’t talk enough about. He was there through it all and never left my side. 

With chronic illness, it is never easy and life is filled with uncertainty. But having him by my side made the journey more bearable.

A few years after we got married, I got diagnosed with Sjogren’s syndrome and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. I felt like my world was crashing down on me again. Dealing with lupus was tough but then when you add on another autoimmune disease and cancer it was just another level of disbelief and chaos.

But, my husband gave me reassurance and said it was going to be alright and we will get through this together.

Ways my spouse lifts me up

I truly want to thank my husband for all that he has done. I truly understood what real love felt like. He never made me feel like a burden or questioned whenever I wasn’t feeling well. He did all he could to make sure he was lifting me up. He let me sleep in when I wanted. He would cook and do the chores. He would buy gifts that would make me smile. He listened to whenever I needed a venting session.

He's been my greatest protector, advocate and best friend. The support and love of a spouse is like no other and I wish that everyone who is going through any chronic illness finds someone who truly can be their rock.