An Interview With My Spouse About My Lupus

I decided to interview my husband to learn someone else's opinion of me and to know the support I have.

How is it to be married to someone with lupus now that you have a child?

Nothing really changes, everything is really the same. I just try my best to not let my wife overstress and overwork herself. So that the stress does not weigh on your body. I am here in the same way I was before the pregnancy, just with a little bit more support.

How is your daughter with her reactions when it comes to her mother’s condition?

I do not think she notices it. In her eyes she is mom and that is all she sees whether she wears a wig and makeup or not, she is just mom in her eyes. There is a time when she must realize that mom is tired or mom may be in pain, but she will be able to learn and tell when her mother is not feeling too well. She understands very well right now. She never leaves my wife’s side.

What support do you bring to your spouse when it comes to helping around with her condition and your child?

Anything that she may need help with I am willing to help. Whether it's watching our daughter because she needs more sleep, I will be there to help her. I will feed my daughter and after she bathes, I will help my wife get her ready for bed. Then I will help my wife get ready for bed and it’s a regular routine right before I go to work.

Would you say that your spouse's health has gotten better or worse ever since your daughter was born?

Her health has not gotten worse, but I have seen her body go through changes and flare-ups ever since having our daughter, but she will always recover from it. She is a true fighter. Some of her flares are the time she must stay up even when she is sick with our child because I would have to work. I will ask how do she feel in the morning and if she does not feel well then, I will take over.

Where do you see your spouse with lupus in the near future?

In the near future, I see her succeeding and achieving her goals and dreams. I see her flourishing and blooming into this person she always aspired to be. She has always been my support system and I am so proud of her for getting back in college and being determined to succeed and she is doing it for our family.

Will there be the planning of another child in the future? And do you fear that child may have lupus?

Yes, in the near years, we have plans on it. That is always a thought in the back of our mind but that is just thought but we cannot control what happens, but we can control how healthy she is, and my wife is doing and before her pregnancy. We know that it is genetic and the mother to daughter percentage is higher. With my daughter, it just happened. She has it but her siblings do not. All you can do is change your lifestyle to heal and grow.