Being in school can be really overwhelming because of the time I get to do the homework and classwork with being a mother. Today I found myself in complete pain and agony with my joints. I do not know if that is because the weather has changed or it's my body trying to tell me something, but I cried all day off and on because it's hard to even get out the bed sometimes. Even though every day is precious, I do have my daughter on a set schedule. The thing is she wakes up all the time around 4 or 5 in the morning.
Searching for relief
Today I tried everything. I tried walking and taking the Tylenol and that did not work. Sometimes it is hard to put up that hard shield and just be strong without crying in front of your child. When we look at each other sometimes I know she is starting to understand my body language. So, when I stepped outside it was a little chilly and so I made sure I dressed comfortably.
Weather changes and lupus flare
The weather has not been helping either. For 1 or 2 days it is sunny, then for 3 days it will storm, and a cold front would come through. Being a great mother is all I want to be for Ava and sometimes that means putting myself second. I am scared to go to the hospital because I am scared that they might keep me, and my daughter has never been without her mother. She has maybe spent 1 night recently with her aunty and I will not lie that was one of the best sleeps I have had in a while because I knew my daughter was safe. Now that I look back on it when I was a child, I realize there were reasons why my mother would be sick off and on.
Keeping myself motivated for my daughter
I catch flare-ups being a full-time student and mother, so I know it was overwhelming for my mother to do it and work with 3 kids. She is a very strong inspiration to me, and she is 1 person that keeps me pushing and motivated. My skin around my neck, back, and hands started to peel again and all I could do is try and go to sleep and get as much rest as possible.
Keeping myself motivated for my daughter always seems to be what is important. So, I am trying to focus on myself a little more because I must be able to take care of and provide for her. Having a daughter is one of the best things in my life that could have happened to me. I am going to try some things out that are supposed to be healthier for your body and I will be further finding ways to extend my life for my daughter.
I believe that anyone with a condition should find a peace zone that would make them happy and relaxed. It's been a few days since I have not been feeling well and it's just always body pain nothing else. I am hoping that maybe if I sleep for a day, I would get better.
Did you have the Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) or Mononucleosis (mono) before learning about your lupus diagnosis?