To Move or Not To Move?
Last updated: March 2023
You would think a simple question had a simple answer. But, there are so many factors to think about, especially when you have been diagnosed with lupus. Living in NYC has its pros and cons. This was where I was born and raised, and I love it. This is all I've known, and I can't imagine any other place to call home. But the cost of living here has gotten exponentially out of control. The rising cost of food, gas, rent, insurance, etc., has taken a big hit to my bank account. So, the obvious thing would be to move out of NYC. But, with chronic illness, these are things that are stopping me.
Family considerations with a move
My parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins live in NYC. We all live close to each other and are within a 15 min radius. My husband's family also lives close by. So, just in case something were to happen, I know I can count on at least one of them. I know with a phone call/ group text, someone will be able to assist me quickly. If we moved to another city or state, my husband and I would be alone.
This sort of goes with the above. If we did start a family and we were to move elsewhere, who would help babysit? Living with lupus is a 24/7 job. I get so tired quickly now and then to add on the responsibility of a newborn in less than 4 hours. I can't even imagine how I would be able to function. Because of my fatigue, I know my husband would pick up my slack, but I know how burdensome that is to put on him. It would be a struggle to juggle everything with no help from family nearby.
My lupus care team
If I moved, I would have to switch doctors, and I love my doctors. I've been with most of them ever since I was diagnosed. They know all the ups and downs and really listen to me. I can't imagine starting over and finding a new care team. I've heard so many horror stories of doctors who brush off their patients, and I don't know how I would be able to handle that.
Stress of a move with lupus
Moving in itself is super stressful. Whether it is looking for a new place to rent or buy, there are so many factors that you have to into. What is the location like? What are the pros and cons of the new place? Will my neighbors be friendly? Will I be bored over there? Will I need a car to get around? Renting probably will be much easier since it's less paperwork. We would need to sign the lease, pack up and move in. But, if we buy a place, we must come up with a down payment, closing costs, contracts, lawyers, etc. So many things to think about. With all this, I have to think about how this stress will play out. Will it cause me to flare up? Will I be OK?
Deciding to move is not an easy decision
I probably would have left NYC a while back if I were healthy. It would have been a fresh start, and I wouldn't have to worry about any of this or how this would affect my health. But, because of my lupus, I need to consider these things. If we did move, we probably would make new friends, but they wouldn't jump on the chance to sleep over to help soothe a crying newborn or stop everything in their tracks to pick up my medications. They all have their own lives they need to take care of. It's definitely a lot to handle, and the housing market makes it even more complicated. My husband and I have much to think over these next few years. Only time will tell.
Has lupus caused you to double-think your move?
How are you most likely to respond when someone offers you unsolicited advice about your lupus?