Getting Older As A Lupus Warrior

Turning 35 is a milestone for anyone, and as crazy as it sounds it is pretty much middle age for a huge amount of the population. Every day is super unpredictable and getting diagnosed with lupus at 27 really made me understand that life is too short. When I first got diagnosed I had no idea what lupus was really like and whether I was going to live to 35 or 85. So as someone living with multiple chronic illnesses, reaching this age meant so much more. It was not just about getting older; it was about the resilience, strength, and the journey of navigating life with my unique challenges.

Lupus altered my life's trajectory

When I was little I had so many things in my head planned out. I would graduate college at 21, be engaged by 23, be married at 25, buy a house at 28, have my first baby at 30 and my second baby at 32. But life had other plans. I graduated college at 25, was diagnosed with lupus at 27, got engaged by 30 and married by 32, was diagnosed with Sjogren's and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma at 33 and at 35, and still no house or kid.

Growing up in this era was hard enough but then adding on a chronic illness changed my life in ways unimaginable to someone who hasn’t experienced it. It limited certain opportunities, altered my life trajectory and imposed restrictions that I never had to deal with.

Living with purpose

But, lupus also brought on the understanding of resilience and adaptability. Reaching 35 is a powerful reminder of all the things that I had overcome to reach this point. I wake up everyday and am grateful that I’m still here. These past few years have showed me how much strength and determination I had to showcase that lupus was not going to define who I was.

My 35th birthday symbolized years of learning how to manage pain, confronting my fears, and finding ways to thrive. Each day survived and lived with purpose is an achievement in itself. The struggles of managing my symptoms, dealing with doctors appointments, calling up my pharmacy or insurance company became my new normal. Each of these challenges formed a unique narrative, filled with small victories and important lessons. Celebrating this milestone acknowledges the strength it took to get here and honors the journey.

Looking to the future

As mentioned, life is just too short and we cannot predict the future no matter how hard we try to plan. So for each birthday that passes, I grow a much deeper appreciation of little every day moments that usually gets overlooked: like having breakfast with my family, watching the sunset or even just being stuck in traffic. Turning 35 while living with a chronic illness shined a light on the things that truly matter: the love of family and friends, the kindness of strangers, and the beauty in small acts of self-care and relaxation.

As I look towards the future I am no longer trying to set goals like I did when I was younger. I know my limits and am now more realistic. Exercising for 30 minutes or doing a load of laundry are small wins that I am proud of. I no longer am planning too far into the future as well. There is just too much uncertainty living with a chronic illness.  
I don’t know where I will be in 5 or 10 years. But, I do want to be happy surrounded by my family and friends. I want to ensure I still have the best medical care team. I am trying to live in the present and am soaking in all the memories I can as best as I can as chronic illness warrior.

Turning 35 was a huge milestone for me and I am embracing all the hurdles it took to get here. I will be rocking out my greys and setting a reminder that it’s a privilege to grow old that some not get to have. So, cheers to the next 35 years and more!