Don't Call Me a Warrior

Hear me out…don't call me a warrior! Because I'm not always a soldier at war. These unseen battles, hold me tight in their shackles. Nothing can calm the fight I sit in, as an everlasting war rages within. My body is lupus’ battlefield.

Additionally, my skin is worn, and my insides are bruised. These old joints are all swollen and sore. Lupus sometimes is winning the war. My mind is a battleground. It’s where fatigue and pain collide.

These thoughts all are scattered and confused, and my emotions are raw and on the wildest ride.

Having to be strong

Because sometimes I’m a worrier. Just looking to survive. Most times I wake up each day and fight, even when I don't feel alive. I have to be strong. Ultimately, I have no choice for myself and for those I love.

But I am also fragile, and my burdens are heavy to bear. Sometimes hearing someone call me a warrior is very hard to hear.

So please, don't call me a warrior.

Asking for help

I am simply a person trying to live. With many pains and issues that no one knows about. There are times I can’t even speak aloud. Therefore, what's needed is understanding and support. Especially when I have used my ask for help as a last resort.

I wake up each morning, and the first thing I feel is pain. My muscles are weak and sore. Just waking often is the cumbersome chore. You know what? I force myself out of bed. After that, I stumble to the bathroom. Next all I can do is look in the mirror as I hold and shake my head.

Sometimes I barely recognize the person staring back at me. It’s hard to imagine that lupus won’t set me free.

Like a ghost of myself

My skin can get pale and drawn. Additionally, at times my eyes are sunken and tired. Zombified I can look like a ghost of my former self. Wobbling around in a fog that lupus conspired. But I keep on going and I take my meds. Even though it is something that I totally dread.

Because living this lupus life is not easy. There are days when I can barely get out of bed when I lay around feeling sleazy. Of course, on other days I can't even focus on anything. Hence, me just sitting around wishing for clarity to be the saving ring.

Don't call me a warrior

Simply because there are days when I just want to give up. Just toss in the towel and not be the warrior you see that says suck it up buttercup. But I don't. I'm a thriver. I'm fighting this battle hard. Stepping through each day in every moment marred and scarred.

Don’t call me a warrior!

Call me a thriver!

After all, you don’t know how it's like to live with lupus. The pain is excruciating. And good old fatigue is debilitating. Not to mention the emotional toll is immense. As my soul is forever on a biological defense.

But I fight every single day just to get by. I don’t just survive, I surely thrive. Even with the battle in my body and the misconceptions of others. Walking in power and with the might of many lupus sisters and brothers

Don't call me a warrior. Even though I am strong. I show my resilience. And I don’t give up.

Someone not just surviving

Calling me a warrior somehow makes it feel like I am being glorified for my suffering. When all I really want is to be understood and supported.

Finally, I want you to see me for who I am. Someone not just surviving. But someone who is thriving in spite of the lupus that tries to control my body. Trying to live my life to the fullest with the least issues possible

I am not a warrior. Honestly, I see myself as a THRIVER!