Everything Makes Sense Now...

I always felt like something was off.

Early symptoms

From always being more tired than others, or years of kidney problems that no one could figure out, to even my terrible pregnancies.

My first was born at 28 weeks, second I had terrible preeclampsia and my 3rd was high blood pressure and pre-term labor, also all of which no one knew why. Luckily all my babies are healthy and growin up too fast!

Testing

About a year ago I noticed my feet hurt. Nothing terrible but annoying enough to see a doctor. She did blood work and a strongly positive ANA popped up!! Fast forward four long months of steroids and skin rashes and mouth sores, waiting to get an appt with rheumatology.

Seeing a rheumatologist

Once I saw her she knew right away...Lupus. Started me on Plaquenil. It took a few months for the horrible fatigue, rashes, mouth sores and weight loss to get better. But it did.

Then BAM my joints were swelling and hurting. MRI showed joint damage. So now add methotrexate, which has been amazing.

Life changes

My life has changed dramatically. I have to rest more, ask for more help, and staying out of the sun is tough. I feel like I had to figure out who I was all over again, because this illness changed me. I am now someone totally different than I was a year ago. I am so thankful for the good days and the not so bad days.

Self-care

I have had to force myself to slow down and put my health first. I changed my diet and that was hard. But it helps and I feel better. I had to be angry and sad for a little bit to grieve my old self. But to be honest. I kind of like the new me better.

I appreciate the little things and the present much more. It’s ok to slow down! I know that this illness could change tomorrow and if it does, I have to find a new me again. But this time I won’t be so scared to let go of the old me. 🙂

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