How I Set Goals With Lupus

In my life before lupus, I was goal-oriented and hard-working. Dreams of academic success, a college scholarship, or scoring a high rank in musical competitions motivated me to study hard and practice my instrument, the viola, for hours everyday. As a teenager and later as a young adult, I rarely slowed down or took time off to relax. When my hard work paid off and I achieved one of my goals, it motivated me to set an even loftier goal requiring even more hard work.

Then I became severely ill with lupus at age twenty-two. Suddenly, just getting out of bed and making it to class felt like the most difficult thing I’d ever done. Crippling fatigue meant I could barely practice my instrument, let alone prepare for auditions or recitals. I tried to study, but memory loss and brain fog made that nearly impossible. In a few short months, I’d gone from a high achiever who always had a plan to someone who struggled to get through a single day. It felt like a piece of me had died.

As I adjusted to life with a chronic illness, I tentatively began to set goals for myself again. After much trial and error, I’ve learned a few tricks that help me be productive without negatively impacting my health.

Make your goal SMART, but be smart about it

The acronym SMART is often used to describe the components of effective goal setting. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. For example, making a goal to “get in shape” is neither specific, measurable, or time-bound, and is therefore unlikely to pan out. However, setting a goal to gain five pounds of muscle in ten months is specific, measurable, and time-bound.

Lupus patients need to pay special attention to the achievable and time-bound aspects of goal-setting. What’s achievable for someone in a healthy body may not be achievable for us. For example, I know that I will never be able to run five miles, even if I start by running a little each day, because cardio triggers my chronic fatigue.

Lupus patients should also plan to be flexible with the time-bound part of goal-setting. As a lupus patient, I know there are times when my health, not my goals, need to be my priority. Rather than feeling like a failure because I didn’t accomplish what I set out to on time, I adjust my timeline. I know I can shift my focus back to my goals when I’m feeling better.

Remember the tortoise wins the race

When you have a new goal or plan, whether it’s a fitness goal, a goal to write a book, or a goal to finally start that Etsy store you’ve been thinking about, don’t immediately devote all your time and energy to this goal. I’ve done this many times and it nearly alway leads to burnout or a flare.

Instead, break your goal into tiny, achievable steps. For example, two hundred words a day, which is about a paragraph or two, adds up to a full book by the end of a year.

Don’t forget to take a break

You’ve done it! You’ve completed a work project, finally cleaned your whole house, or started a garden. If you’re anything like me, the high of achieving something you set out to do makes you want to set an even bigger goal. However, consider taking some time to simply relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

What’s the point of a clean house, garden, or fully funded emergency fund if you can't take a moment to just enjoy them?

What slowing down has done for me

Nearly fifteen years after I first became ill, I’m still the same goal-oriented and hard-working person I was before lupus. While I sometimes still feel like I’m a person who enjoys life at a fast pace trapped in a body that can only move slowly, I’ve stopped resenting my body for having so many limitations.

One thing I never realized in my teens and twenties was that constantly pursuing my dreams at such a frenetic pace left little time to relax and enjoy the world as it is without always striving for something better.

I’m not able to change the fact that my chronic illness has forced me to slow down. However, I have learned that slowing down and relaxing not only helps my body recover, but also gives me time to clear my head, allowing me to approach future goals with a clear head and fresh perspective.