Quality of Life
The quality of life becomes precious to anyone from birth to old age, but when you have a condition that attacks your norm, everything becomes more serious. I find myself having more and more anxiety attacks the older I get with lupus.
Life with lupus
I have met so many people with lupus who have lived so long with it. I have also seen some of the youngest people lose their lives behind such a scary disease. Lupus has still caused me to be out of work and that is overwhelming because the source of income you receive does not help you get on your feet completely. So, I feel the need to get back to work.
Lupus also played a lot on my mental health. I find myself being more aggressive and impatient when sick. I find myself wanting to close myself in and not be bothered with no one when I am sick. I feel that is because part of me does not want to feel like the problem. I always had issues to where I will make people’s problems my own problem and that would have a big impact on my health. That is because I am stressing way more than I need to. Lately, I have been talking to my husband about speaking to a psychiatrist to see if I am not crazy. About 90 percent of the time I feel overwhelmed, especially now being a mom because she is my priority. I will wake up in pain sometimes because I am restless. When I am overly tired and in pain, I become mean and distant.
School and lupus
Now that I am in school, lupus has become a big issue for me dealing with pain. That is because I would literally sit here in pain in the morning for an hour until I get up and that is because I stayed up all night doing homework because during the day I have to tend to my daughter. Taking care of my daughter has never been the issue but getting the proper rest has. Certain health issues I had before are starting to come back because I feel so overwhelmed even though I am about to graduate. Statistics almost have me ready to give up. That is a hard and stressful subject to face, but I am hanging on by a thread.
Patience with lupus
Even though lupus caused many problems in my life, it also taught me to appreciate life just as it is. It taught me to not stress over things I can not change, but the things I can change I should do. Lupus taught me that everyone is not perfect as they seem. It takes time and patience to learn how to not take life for granted. Patience was a big thing for me. It has taught me to not rush when I work, it teaches me to not overthink, and to be more kind, and to think before I react. These things have helped me with my lupus because I stress way less than I used to.
Did you have the Epstein-Barr virus (EBV) or Mononucleosis (mono) before learning about your lupus diagnosis?