New Flare, Bad Day
Last updated: March 2021
Having random flare-ups can be a pain in my behind. I just had one today. I found myself slowly fading away. I would tell no one what was going on with me either and that seems to be one of my issues. I became a very secretive person having lupus. It is so stressful to have a disease you can not control. It is stressful to have to depend on medication when you are trying to get off the medication. I believed at sometimes you can heal yourself naturally and sometimes I realized I needed a little help to get better.
Gradually, my flare got worse
So today started off as a normal day, but lately, I have been getting less sleep due to me being in school and being a mom I sleep way less. So sometimes I have found myself getting more sick when I have a lack of rest. Today was a hectic day and it happened sooner than I expected. While I was driving I started to feel weak and drained. My head started pounding and my body was hurting. I started to drive a little off track because I felt that my body was shutting down so I had to pull over and let my husband drive.
Lupus is a time and dignity thief
I really thought it was because I was hungry but that was not the case. I ate and still felt horrible today. So I ended up going to bed and did not wake up until 8 pm this evening. I was so upset that I literally slept the whole day and that was not a good thing to do knowing that I had homework that was due because I could not control it. Now that I am awake, I feel like I have not slept in weeks or days. But that is WHAT LUPUS DOES. It takes your time and sometimes your dignity. It takes your strength and your resilience. It teaches you to not be fearful and scared at all.
When bloodwork doesn't match the flare
Doesn't it suck when you feel bad but your bloodwork says otherwise? My bloodwork says my health is perfectly fine. That’s why I feel as if there is more than just the bloodwork that people need to look at. The things I had to realize are that it is what you eat and how you take care of yourself that matters. Yes, I go to the gym but now I find myself overdoing myself these days.
New lupus flare symptoms, still
Now I am having symptoms of diarrhea and I do not know why. Every 5 seconds I am going back and forth to the bathroom trying to do my homework. Not knowing how your body will react could be a very stressful life because you have no understanding of why you are even getting sick. It would be different if I had the help but I do not have the help that I should. My husband works so that’s even more stressful. I dream and wish that everything will be alright and that I will get better with time and rest.
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