Coping With Loneliness in Lupus
Coping with loneliness is depressing, especially for me. I have been feeling lonely for some time now. When I am sick, I lose a lot of friends. Then I will be in the hospital so much that I forgot how to have friends. Why? The people I thought were my friends never came to see me while I was in the hospital or if they did come, I expected them to come way more often.
Depression from loneliness
I lost the concept of having friends and now that I am lonely, I get a sense of depression. Of course, my spouse is my best friend but I do wish that I would have someone to talk to. I even lost trust in having friends because they are not very supportive at times. I realized that it was okay before I was sick because I would go everywhere with them but now that I have priorities and I watch my health it can also become an issue.
Then my trust will begin to fade with most of my friends because I stop knowing them. It is hard to keep people around you when you are always in the hospital. I just really use to want someone to go as hard for me as I have done for them. What I learned is that you must trust within yourself. Coping with loneliness can put you into a depression that you can not get yourself out of. So, I start to redirect myself into writing poems, going to parks, and walking to relieve stress, and reach out to my friends to attempt a friendship. You have to realize that if you always have to reach out to a friend first without them reaching out to you, then you need to reevaluate your friendship.
The perks of fewer friends
Being lonely has its perks. I was able to get back into school and focus. I really do not have any distractions that will prevent me from being focused on my career and goals. I want to strive to be better. I am thinking that maybe I will meet some better friends as I further my career. Sometimes you leave some friends behind so that the true friends can come in. I have total complete trust issues in keeping friendships.
Learning to love myself
Sometimes you have to remember that it is time for you to get yourself together and love yourself even more. Find something that you can put your all into. You can start a project and stay focused on that project to where you will not feel too lonely and by yourself. If you are always in the hospital, I started to make more hospital friends between nurses and patient care technicians. I started to feel less lonely because I had those people and my family by my side each time I went to the hospital to where I stopped being lonely and stopped caring about who was there for me or not. Why? Because to me, the important people were already there.
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