The Happiest Memory Lupus Gave Me

My happiest memory is an odd one. Many people would say that a happy memory cannot be produced in a place like this. That this is a place where trauma is created and sadness dwells. Well, for me, it is my everyday reality. Living with lupus is not something you can heal, it is something you definitely need to go to the hospital for, which is my second home.

In this second home, I’ve made many memories and the one I am about to share is the best one.

It started with the skin>/h2>
This memory was in June of 2021, in South Africa. I had come in for a skin infection that was so unbearable, I drove myself. I got a private room (thankfully) where I didn’t need to be seen by other patients of how badly this skin infection had scarred me. While getting the treatment, I asked the doctor “Is it possible to see a psychiatrist?” and the doctor answered “Definitely, are you feeling depressed?”, a tear dropped down my face and I emphatically answered “Yes!”.

Fortunately, I met with the psychiatrist the same day, got diagnosed with depression and was immediately prescribed antidepressants. Just one dose and I felt so much lighter. Like the weight I was carrying on my shoulders for months, was finally gone and I could breathe again. The room I was in felt lighter, as if an angel had come down to cleanse the room. It was so magical, it’s inexplicable.

Letting my creativity shine through

While I was healing mentally and physically from my ailment, I had the lovely opportunity to get a pencil and some scrap paper that I asked the nurses for. They asked curiously “What do you want to do with them?” And smiled and said “You’ll see.”.

This was the time my creativity kicked in and I started sketching. I remembered, I sketched Scooby Doo, I sketched an Aztec mask and of a man fishing in the lake. It got so good, I started drawing portraits of the nurses at the ward I was in. Each one would come in with a picture of themselves, asking me to sketch them. I was so shocked at how well I sketched the nurses accurately like their pictures. I decided to charge them fifty bucks a pop.

It was my mini side hustle while I was incapacitated. This proved to my mind that I can do what I believe I can do and that the mind always lies. It tries to make us feel inferior when we actually do have control of our internal thoughts.

The icing on the cake was when I drew something for a doctor of mine. After her rounds, she gave me a sketchbook and pencil (which I still have to this day). She said “This is for your art and to continue drawing no matter what.”. I was so elated that my artwork touched someone and they in turn offered me something I will cherish until the day I die.