My Goals For The New Year

New year; same me, as I always say. I mean, there is always room for improvement, and I have a lot that I do want to improve about myself but I want to do it on my own time. I want to lose at least 60 pounds because I gained so much weight after having my precious baby girl. I am not insecure within my body so much as I just believe that I could get to the point where I want to be. I decided that I would become the person that empowers me even more.

When I decided to take on this new year, I decided that I matter and I am important. I learned that I would not give in to others' opinions and judgmental ways. One New Year's resolution that I have had is to make sure that I get doctors that will understand and listen to me better and if they do not want to listen then I can keep switching doctors until they do.

My priority: a better lupus doctor

Some doctors need to get past the stigmatism that someone is lying about what is going on with them. I also hate when you are telling your doctors something that you don’t want and they don’t listen and still do what you asked them not to do anyway. Sometimes it works to understand your patient even if you're going to see them for 30 minutes to an hour. When I come into an appointment I want to feel respected and understood. I should feel like I can make the decisions on my own body without being judged but one of the people I need to not judge me badly the most. Sometimes it gets frustrating to get others to understand me.

My New Year's list:

1. Get through school
2. Understand my value and be self-determined
3. Take better care of myself
4. Remember who I am
5. If I don’t want to do nothing, I won't do it
6. Eat better, stress less

The last one I have big issues with because I tend to care about others' feelings more than I do my own. I do understand why I do not have some friends because the brain fog can actually get you out of having more daily activities than you would like to. My life flashed before my eyes when I started to see friends start to walk out of my life. Then I realized that maybe those friends are not meant to be there.

Looking forward to my goals this year

You have to be strong enough though, this year. Let go of your imperfections and insecurities. Let 2021 be you getting yourself together. The focus should be on you. Just think, when was the last time you actually focused on yourself with no interruptions? People with lupus sometimes tend to not have that luxury. We are very sensitive human beings and we tend to have an open heart for others than what others shall have for us. This year is going to help me determine my future. What shall I come to be?