A hand reaches out to hold one that is slowly disappearing with a broken heart in the background.

Grief and Chronic Illness

The year 2020 was not a good year for me at all. Grief was everywhere and everyone felt it. I was pregnant through the beginning of COVID. Remember that all of your experiences are just applied to your growth. I learned that a long time ago. That year while I was pregnant in February, I lost an aunt. She was one of our family’s most joyful and funniest people to be around. She passed in the nursing home with COVID complications. Then, I lost my daughter's great-grandmother a week after I had my daughter. That one hit me hard because she was like another nana to me.

Then a few days after my husband’s grandmother's passing, I lost my best friend and cousin. It all was hitting me like a ton of bricks. After he passed, it was hard for me to want to do anything with anyone. All I had was the comfort of my own daughter. Then that Friday I lost a cousin again on my husband’s family side. That year was the year of birth and passings in my eyes. I almost gave in to my grief. I started at first drinking heavily and then I realized that they would not want to see me like that. They would not even want me to be in that type of situation.

Ways I learned to cope

The way I learned to cope is to take time out for myself. I would go to the park, breathe in the fresh air, feed the ducks, and walk around the tracks. I started to go to the gym to work off my emotions because I am one to lash out in moments, so I need to find a way to work that stress off. It is never easy losing someone you love. Just remember to continue to live for them. Let them live through you. They could be your little angel watching and looking down on you and you do not even know it. Do not put a time limit on your grief and everyone’s grief is not the same. I have met so many people that feel that they do not even have the time to grieve and that is not right. It will make you an insane person holding all that in.

Support with loss

Sometimes we just need a friend to talk to but make sure it is the right person that would keep that information between you two. Remember to always self-love and care for yourself. I know when we feel down, we let go of ourselves but it is important to remember to take time out for ourselves to be able to achieve that goal.

If you need to seek out social support. There is someone that needs your help, too. There is someone that needs a shoulder to lean on and maybe you can grieve together. Ever wish the real world were like a movie and everyone came over when you lost someone, and they help you grieve and drink wine? Make friends like that because that is the friends I want to make. Grief does not have a time limit and does not rush it because you will become ill due to the stress of it.

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our privacy policy. We never sell or share your email address.

More on this topic

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Lupus.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

or create an account to comment.