A man points at a cloud in the sky, and a speech bubble with an elephant and a question mark comes from his mouth. A woman looks blankly at him and has a thought bubble showing a red x.

Explaining Lupus to Others

Still, to this day, I feel like I must explain myself to people in detail. Even though times have changed and plenty of people have it and it's widely talked about on social media, people always ask me to explain my condition.

Harmful words from others

Some of their words are hurtful to start off with but by the time I am done with them, they will change their opinion on someone with lupus too. I would explain in my own definition what I think lupus is based on what I went through. They would tell me about a story about how someone has it that is a friend, or a family and they are getting bashed for complaining about pain. I felt bad for these people. Imagine being judged while you are sick – you are just going to get more stressed and sicker.

The first thing I ask them is, "What if the shoes were on the other feet?"

Imagine... having to go to the hospital for the common cold and you end up getting admitted because you have a blood clot in your lungs.

Imagine... getting hit by a car – you might be released that day or the next day. A lupus patient will have to stay and get a test ran because a tragic event has happened to their body and boom, here comes lupus looking for the damaged areas to damage them some more.

Parents with lupus

Some people will say that their parents had it and they never noticed. That's because your parents masked it really well. What parent wants their child to see them struggle when their number one job is to provide for you? Parents tend to always put themselves second when it comes to their kids, so they will wait until the last minute to even say anything about their health.

Having children with lupus

The most common question people ask me now is that am I able to have kids. These are people that are just walking around me on a daily basis and I tell them yes. I will also tell them that I am also a blessing to another lupus patient that ended up having 3 kids. They ask me what were my starter symptoms and I will tell them everyone is different and that mine was a skin rash and joint pain.

Skin issues

Some people would say they think I have lupus also because of their skin. I would have to tell them that there are more diseases that are related to the skin other than lupus. Of course, people with skin issues with lupus call it discoid lupus, but there is also psoriasis, eczema, and more. I have to tell them with lupus sometimes it sends signals outside the body first to tell you to know something might be wrong on the inside.

Spreading awareness about lupus

I never give out medical advice, I just tell them that they would need a referral to a dermatologist and a rheumatologist. I would like more lupus people to become educators because obviously everyone does not know the true details that are going on or have enough education about our conditions. That’s why I believe there should be more people going into that field who have the condition to understand us.

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