Domestic Violence and Lupus

I met someone with lupus today, and I will not disclose her name for her privacy, but she told me that I could tell her story. Domestic violence is a real thing, and it just hurts way more when you have a condition. I met women that have been battered, bruised, or verbally abused. Then they will end up in the hospital to treat the diseases and lupus being they caught a flare-up, and their abuser will be sitting right there with them and encouraging them that they will get better and that they would never hurt them. Then it becomes a repeat cycle. Love can be blind.

Lupus can be triggered by stress

That is because someone makes them feel low enough to think that they would never be good enough for someone because of their condition. It is called a manipulation. So women with lupus become complacent and continue to deal with the abuse when they do not have to. Imagine if you were not with that person, you would not flare-up. Sometimes the negativity should be let go because that is what is making you sick. Lupus triggers off stress, and if you have been with someone for a few months or more, they know that your lupus is triggered by stress.1 They don't care anymore. Plenty of women come to me for advice, and I will always tell them to leave, but I will also tell them you have to make that decision for yourself. Some people you can advise to leave, and they will stay until they have had enough.

Personal experience

I have seen personal experiences with this, and this has made the individual stronger and wiser. It also made them so proud that they don't want to have a man because they say it brings too much stress. I truly think that there is someone out there for everyone; you have to keep looking. It might not be in your 20's or 30's, but they are there. If anyone is being abused, I am putting this out there to seek help. Sometimes you can not run to your family because they encourage the relationship and friends. Sometimes you need a total stranger to help. Don't ever feel that you are not good enough or worth enough to be with someone else. You are perfect and beautiful in your way.

According to research, lupus is common in people who experience some childhood trauma or physical abuse.2 I believe this, but if you have trauma in your adulthood, it can make them flare even more. It makes you think, why is it found more in African American women. Is it because of the abuse they are subjectified to as a child from their family? If so, it happens in the poorer communities like where I come from. If you need any help call 1-800-799-SAFE. You can also text them. And chat with them online. Do not ever be discouraged from seeking help.

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our privacy policy. We never sell or share your email address.

More on this topic

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The Lupus.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

or create an account to comment.