It Is Not Your Fault
Last updated: February 2021
It is not your fault that you have lupus so do not blame yourself. It is not your fault you end up in the hospital from time to time. It is not your fault you could not make it to the party or event. It is not your fault that you cannot do the things you use to do. Do not blame yourself because I use to do that all the time. I use to blame myself for getting sick. I use to blame myself for why friendships would not work. If someone can not respect your friendship after your diagnosis, they were not your friend before. Dealing with lupus, we sometimes find ourselves not loving and respecting ourselves enough.
Learn to love yourself
I remember I use to let the world fall on my shoulders to where I didn't want to live. Sometimes I would enter a depression phase and my husband would try to get me out of it which he could not because some things you have to learn to get out on your own. You have to find an outlook. It's not your fault. You're not a party pooper at all. It's not your fault that this condition arose in your body. It's not your fault that your skin does not look the same. But it can be your fault if you do not learn to love yourself. Do not blame yourself for anything that happens to your body.
My motivation is my daughter
I had to remember that lupus triggers off of stress. Dealing with lupus can make you one stressed-out individual. This condition has its ups and downs and it can be a lot on just one person and not to mention the people around you. But do not blame yourself because you are perfect just the way you are. I let my lupus know that I would not batter nor tear myself down anymore. I will love myself more and hate myself less. Even if you have to stare in a mirror and talk to yourself every day, make it possible. My daughter is my motivation to keep living. I do not know where I would be without her. She gives me unconditional love even if I did not ask for it. Babies are like perfect little angels and I have mine. For that, I have no regrets at all.
Do not blame yourself
I use to blame myself until my support system told me differently. Just recently I had an episode where I thought I was not a good mother because when I get sick I push myself through the pain and I wonder what would happen to me because I am not getting enough rest. The stress triggers my flare-up and I am back sick again. Without my support system, I would have always thought I was not good enough or the blame. That why I guess some doctors would always ask the mother how she's doing mentally and emotionally because it can become overwhelming but in the end, it is so worth it being a mother to her.
How are you most likely to respond when someone offers you unsolicited advice about your lupus?