Cracks In The Armor: Asking for Help Is Okay
Lupus is a tricky condition; you have to be strong physically when dealing with the symptoms of the disease. But your strength must also be mental. Regardless of how independent you may want to be and self-sufficient you may have proven you are, there will be times where you find that you are reaching your limit. That limit may look different from one person to another, but that limit is very real and will inevitably be reached at some point. The difficult thing about having to be strong all of the time is that it can become very difficult to ask for help when necessary. It is vitally important to be able to reach out for help when necessary.
Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of or a reason to feel humiliated. Asking for help should not make you feel any less than yourself. Speaking pragmatically, it can be said that it actually takes strength to be able to ask for help.
3 situations when asking for help
When you are coping with the symptoms of a chronic condition like lupus, there are three things that you may encounter when asking for help:
Some people are eager to help
You may find that there are more people who are actually able and eager to help than you initially anticipated. We often find that we are able to accomplish more in a group, or with the assistance of others than we ever could alone. Interestingly, in asking for help, you may even find that other people are actually happy that you have asked them for their assistance with something. They are actually happy that they are able to do something for you.
Sometimes, people will say no
Now, even though you may have asked for help, it is important to understand that there are also some times that people will say no. Being that you are already in a vulnerable position, this can be difficult to hear or accept. However, hearing a “no” should not be taken personally. Sometimes, people are not in a position to help. This may be because of some limitations that are out of their control. But it is also important to remember that a temporary rejection is not a reflection of a person’s willingness to support you or their feelings towards you. Do not let a “no” deter you from seeking support.
Vulnerability is strengthThe last thing that you may find when asking for help is that others may look to you as an example that it is indeed okay to be vulnerable and ask for help. Showing that you are able to ask for support when you need it, regardless of the potential outcome, you show strength. Asking for help is OKIt is already difficult coping with lupus; it can be even more difficult to open yourself up enough to ask for help. But, sometimes it is necessary to reach out to others and ask for help when you may need it. There is nothing wrong with asking for support, in fact, it is encouraged. There are also times when you may have to accept a “no” from people; and your strength can be an example to others, so you should never be reluctant to ask for help whenever you may need it.
Are you a man living with lupus?