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Being a Voice for Others With Lupus

Being a voice for others who are not able to speak for themselves or won't speak for themselves can be hard, especially if you did not pick that role for yourself. But if you have a positive spirit and are not a negative person, you tend to draw all kinds of people, positive and negative. I ended up meeting both.

I chose to be an advocate

I decided to speak up during my second kidney failure. Constantly being in and out of the ER and having skin issues, I wanted to see if anyone can relate. Have anyone experienced this? Am I alone or not? Does anyone care? After I made the video, I had plenty of people reaching out with their experiences and some say that they are afraid to be open and embrace their beauty. I chose to continue to advocate because I chose to speak out about myself. I chose to learn to love myself and hoping that I could teach other women and men to love themselves also.

Stepping out is another obstacle for us. I mean do we feel beautiful enough? How will others view us? What will people say? Well, you will get a lot of positive and negative. I had people tell me I should have killed myself, asked me why would I bring a child into the world knowing that I have this condition, and told me I should be ashamed of myself; that I looked like I ran into poison ivy. Others would say, "I do not know why your man is with you, have you saw your skin?" Or, "Oh my, she looks disgusting. She better be lucky she has who she has." Other people would say, "You look dirty. You are just sitting in God's wastebasket because you brought this upon yourself."

We need someone positive

You want people to feel for you and that’s a shame cause others are really sick. So many things uneducated individuals say about us and that’s why we hide in the shell the way we do. Some people don’t have that support system or that love from the family saying they will help. Some people do not have those spouses or friends that will understand either. Sometimes that builds you for the outside world and how they will probably treat you also. But you will always have those people who will support you and think that you are brave for stepping up. Those are the ones you keep influencing. Why? We already battle too much to where we need someone positive.

How I stepped out of my shadow

  1. Take time and look into the mirror in the morning before you walk out the door and before you go to bed. Say how much you love yourself and how beautiful you are
  2. Social distance and emotional distancing. Take yourself away from those who are not positive for you and your environment.
  3. Take yourself on a spa day to yourself at least once a month. Take time to take care of yourself and embrace your beauty
  4. Learn to love yourself before anyone can love to love and respect you.

Everyone is different

Understand that when you put yourself first people will start to take you seriously and have more respect. Then you achieve something they felt would be impossible. And some conditions might be worse than yours, but everyone is different. That does not mean you don’t tell your story though. Continue to embrace and influence others.

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